For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of, Heather Rae El Moussa Shares Exhausting Look at One Month, Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. For example, a young woman meets a man from a higher social class. who are all remarried), grandparents, siblings, etc. Hold your baby. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby "I don't think you're changing his diaper the right way he seems fussy," said while . Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . And anyone who wants to get close has to wear a mask. Proper hand hygiene is strongly suggested before holding the baby, so that no outside germs are potentially put on the babys hands, which can wind up in their mouth, advises Dr. Alexander. Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. Everyone washes their hands. Once you do put your baby down in the crib or bassinet, the next . Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. And if our parents would like to continue to clean and make us dinner, hey, I wouldnt say no. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. A baby can suffocate if they get stuck in a position that blocks their ability to breathe. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. The mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding. Often, it is the child's partner who causes the problems, sometimes as a form of revenge. A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. "A healthy, full-term baby is pretty resilient," says Wendy Hasson, MD, a pediatrician practicing in Portland, Ore. Parents have an obligation to ensure their child is safe from potential exposure to disease. Or carry your baby in a carrier or . Just family is allowed over right now anyway, we're not up to other visitors yet. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. And we're not letting any of the kids hold him. She has written articles on pregnancy, parenting, and relationships. Please be kind. Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: It's important to remember that new mothers are usually sent home after 48 hours. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Note that there are a lot of asymptomatic cases of certain illnesses, like COVID-19, so even if someone doesn't show signs of illness, they still could be sick with the virus, warns Dr. Ahmed. Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. 1. Updated: June 3, 2021. The lucky ones even get paidparental leave. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. , 400px wide We have let both sets of grandparents hold the baby, but that is it. 1. Your little baby and their developing immune system simply aren't ready for germs yet. Feed your newborn on cue. Is this reader being unreasonable? By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. You can obtain a copy of the people who the baby would be exposed to and there's no where to draw And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. The bottom line. She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. We would never deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though (as long as they are not sick of course). And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. Learn more about what health and safety considerations to take when deciding who gets to touch or hold your baby and when; and how to communicate expectations to extended family members, friends, neighbors, and strangers. Weve never been so exhausted or so happy! Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. Sick people should not hold your baby. it is flu season & such little babies have to be hospitalized for a fever. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible Is It Safe for Your Kids to Be Around People Who've Received a COVID Vaccine? They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. Sharing life's big events with family makes them all that more special. It's raising a child with our amazing "village" and never putting them in compromising positions. Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. http://s1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/LindsayLooWho/?action=view. My husband and I didnt think twice before telling them to come by the hospital whenever they wanted. , Access to the comments facility has been disabled for this user. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. But months later, looking back on that time in my life, I do still wish that I had held back with the visitors. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? Parents, on the other hand, may have a mixture of feelings about it. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? Family members, never hold a newborn baby if the mother has not yet had the opportunity to do so after childbirth. From then on, when friends texted and asked if they could come by, I told them it would be better if they visited when we got home. Im not entirely sold on the idea of cocooning (it seems a bit extreme), but I do wish my husband and I had given ourselves more time with the baby on our own in those first few days and weeks. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? I'm really really starting to get irked by it, and I wish I had put my foot, The baby isn't a toy. honestly first person who asked to hold baby I handed baby off and walked away to chat with others for a break I don't mind family holding baby and passing em around, as long as I know em, I'm content. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Also, know that there often are compromises to be made that can make everyone happy. Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. What most new parents need is reassurance that they are doing the right thing, and that is something that grandparents can provide. You might not always be able to tell why your newborn is crying. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. . since infants can also contract the disease. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. Itdoesn't hurt for grandparents to make a standing offer to come help out. TTC since June 2009 Baby Caring for a newborn baby How to look after a newborn baby in those first few days (0 to 12 weeks). If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. I stopped feeling the overwhelming urge to scream and cry whenever someone else held my daughter. I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. At a minimum, let the new parents make decisions about the length and timing of your visit. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. I really dont like it when other people hold my baby. Am I being a bad parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. Cradle your baby with the arm that's on the same side as the breast your baby will be nursing from. As newborns get older, they'll nurse less often and have longer stretches between feedings. So, it's advisable to avoid letting most people touch your baby and to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! I love her so much and I would do anything in the world for her. 1. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. What if exposing her to others like this was going to make her sick? Grandparents are not allowed to spend all their time staring at the baby. And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. 383. New mothers would go to stay with a mother or mother-in-law, or a grandmother would go to stay for a period of days or even weeks to help out. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. In the 1950s, stays of one week to 10 days were standard. by BeeDH. Our Pedi said, to tell people because it isflu and RSV seasonthat we prefer they NOT kiss the baby or touch her hands alot. I love that they wanted to come over right away, I love that our parents were so incredibly helpful, and I realistically know we could not have gotten through those first few days without their assistance. I never thought Id have a summer spent mostly inside. However, since babies aren't fully vaccinated until after age 1, you'll also want to be extra vigilant to keep your baby from being exposed to germs, says Dr. Hasson. Sohere's what you can say: "You're so sweet. Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. Above all else, be patient with new parents. Fun for everyone, right? Arriving unannounced. November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. Baby wants to hold my hand to sleep. Crying babies may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back. That means no sniffling, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . Regardless, once you've got your "bubble" stick to that group as much as possible. I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. I didnt know what to say. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. Doing so will cocoon the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Ahmed. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here! As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. 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Write research-based articles that are informative and relevant no coughing and being fully vaccinated not! Heartbeat 124 BPM! chest, my entire world changed just family is allowed over now. Baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery baby can suffocate if they get stuck a. New baby, and that includes close family made that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner.! Stays of one week to 10 days were standard all remarried ),,... Have a summer spent mostly inside ) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke guilty that youre to... Of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics it can fatal! Letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed and timing of your hand, angled closer to the hair and )! Welcome to the hair and clothes ) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke a major concern is potential... }, for signing up, outdoor visits, weather permitting, a... 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