[4], The authors of the book Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work describe a five phase model of how a typical workplace psychopath climbs to and maintains power. This person will compliment you, give gifts/do nice things for years to gain your trust while they put out any thing you said or twist what you said (trust your gut), ask for a written recommendation from you (while you're still thinking they are a nice person)to cover themselves for what they are about to put out on social media or lie about YOU. Call Hollywood . This addition allows the Minister to launch into often aggressive attacks on the opposition, which depending on the leeway offered by the Speaker (who is a member of the ruling party and thus will usually side with the Minister), can include not just attacks on Opposition policy, but attempts to character assassinate opposition members directly. You don't have to always show everyone that you are right (even if you are) or that they see things incorrectly (even if they do). Now, there are two versions of the triangle: the objective one and the narciss, Why do people think they had a good, normal childhood, or deny childhood trauma and its results altogether? He was very angry and disappointed when he didn't, but Coach Williams reminded him that most people dont make varsity until junior year and that he should use sophomore year to hone his skills. And unlike most who know their narcissist, mine is a coward who hides behind anonymous identity and hides as a rat behind vpn. Sometimes it can be more beneficial to just let people sort themselves out instead of trying to manage everyone's perception of you. All of this helped me to become a better person and I'm thankful for it. [5], In Australian politics, a Dorothy Dixer is a rehearsed or planted question asked of a government Minister by a backbencher of their own political party during Parliamentary Question Time. Lashing out is often the result of frustration or fear, which these individuals struggle to cope with because of the accentuation of these emotions associated with the disorder. Character assassination is a special form of lashing out often done by individuals with symptoms of BPD. In your midst they have committed acts of lewdness. I won't lie, at the time it did feel good knowing that this professor was listening when my thesis advisorone of very few who noticed my strengths and talents and cared to be helpful and supportive but not overbearing, who was also the head of the whole defence ceremonygave a short speech after I was done, publicly praising me as one of her sharpest and most independent students and saying she hopes I will continue studying there further. Harry: Hes a monster. They will ask about your family, kids school, your hopes and dreams, what bothers you, etc. By Neofytos Aspriadis Part I Character assassination of states is defined as "the pursuit of sovereign states to destroy the reputation and image of. Yes, toxic people reveal themselves all the time. This author (stellar job Darius) just gave me a chance to accept that smile you have trapped inside of you..and it was worth the wait to see it Stay on your feet. Nonetheless, sometimes people spend huge sums of money, plenty of time, and lots of energy dealing with the manipulator just to feel better, just to feel that they have won, just to feel right and righteous. [11] They formed a group to study character assassination throughout the ages. Manipulators are cowards, as they need a group to get their narcissistic supply, enabling, and resources for their schemes. I know from reading a bit that it's what she wants to do and I am sorry to say I am so desperate to have somebody anybody to help me that a few days ago when here I quickly looked at her phone. I have suffered both reputation wise and financially because of this sociopath. I wake up to it every day and I look around st how my circumstances have so drastically changed, at how isolated and alone I feel, at how stuck I seem to be. You were a bitch to me, you never apologized or recognized what you did (neither personally nor publicly), and I don't have to pretend that I have more respect for you than I actually dowhich is zero. Said to write it out what happened and they would credit my acct and now say it never happened and nobody ever came to read my meter ever. ? But he believes her as does everybody else. I'm now having trouble with the water company and the neighbor had a leak for days and used over 17,000 gal. There are six things which the Lord hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: While many factors play into the results of an election of this magnitude, the manner in which Dukakiss character was picked apart at the hand of Ailes and Bush is said to have played a significant role in Dukakiss defeat. Maybe. 1 Character Assassination: Theoretical Framework; Martijn Icks, Eric Shiraev, Jennifer Keohane, and Sergei A. Samoilenko. I am out of an extreme narcissistic domestic abuse situation with my daughter. "But then the manipulator will win!" To understand this article better, it is highly recommended to read the previous two titled Narcissism: What It Is and Isnt and Narcissism and Self-Esteem . The two-time world champion refused to pull aside to allow team-mate Sergio Perez . This occurred in the first example, where Coach Williams was investigated following Harrys accusations. I got a ride with a friend of hers. And two, I don't think it is very professional to say something like that to a student and use loaded descriptions like that. Character assassination can occur in response to any perceived threat; the above are just two examples. The Shabazz family deserves full disclosure of the exact role that law enforcement played in the events leading up to Malcolm's assassination, their subsequent actions on the day of his death . Strong is on a brief break from filming the fourth season of HBO's Succession, the hit satirical drama about the messy familial power struggles of the .01 percent, which you can use to neatly . Plenty of people told me about their experiences with it, too. October 1, 2022. I experienced: Posers then betrayal. Unfortunately, any response on the victims behalf will place the victim right on the narcissists hamster wheel. Coach Williams would do well to avoid ever being alone with Harry or any other student. You may have experienced manipulation without realizing it. My mind is plagued with impotent anger at what he has done, while I am haunted with memories of my ex fianc. Recently, Harry did an interview stating that he knew that she didn't die immediately and could have been saved if those paps had put down their cameras and actually tried to help her. How to Tell If Youre an Introverted Person, How to Stick to a Routine During Quarantine, How to Deal with Passive-Aggressive People, The narcissist to whom this type of behavior is normal, The individual who is desperate, and has gotten in too deep. Character Assassinationand How to Handle It. One, I don't think I was incorrect (although, technically it is possible that some of the information used could have been factually incorrect), and the topic wasn't important at all, just a dumb, useless presentation. Most people do not assassinate the character of others. It doesn't have to be nice, either. The parent's conscious or unconscious goal is to make you, the child, look and feel bad, and to justify their unjust treatment of you. For 2 days I watched our mom dying alone. So not everyone can do it by themselves at every point of their life. ?? Thank you. The psychological mechanism is this: you have been wronged, a surrogate parent (e.g., the judge) or a tribe (other people), recognize it, and you feel betterexternal validation. To survive a character assassination, keep in mind that there are typically two types of people who sink to this level of operation: There is no dealing with the narcissist. Blog by DARIUS CIKANAVICIUS on Childhood Trauma, Narcissism, and Mental Health. . At the time, I wasn't so clear about or unaffected by it as I would be todayand I knew I will have to deal with her later, and that she has power over meso I just sat there smiling at her victim playing. You used to say kind things about him. I everyday pray that I get to know his identity or he gets killed in an accident. I literally threw away both my professional businesses and can barely get out of a dark roomI was about to embark on a highly public eye profession I've worked my entire life on, and I get too depressed thinking they'll attack all my public profiles, videos, interviews, etc. Have you ever felt like your character was being attacked for no good reason? He has managed to charge me with nine criminal serious charges and I am trying to fight through court but I am not getting any help whatsoever since he was not charged. I have not a single friend in the world but her. Great read, very sound reasoning & explanations. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. (15 minutes) Andrew Colborn says Netflix ruined his life. usually targets the victim's personality or character (Shiraev, n.d.). I did go to see her a few months before she died, when she had no memory left and wasn't the mean, manipulating person I'd always known. While Dukakis in his capacity of governor did not start the program, he had supported it. . Defamation in India is both a civil and a criminal offence. The phrase "character assassination" became popular from around 1930. Thursday 17 November 2022 12:38 - Updated: 12:38. Find what gives you joy. In many ways, they are just like bullies who intimidate or beat somebody up 4 on 1, send their goons after you, or try to sabotage you with lies and deception. America can't afford that risk.. To me, if it is not a terribly serious issue, it is usually not worth it, but depending on the situation you can consider presenting your side of the story, confronting the manipulator directly, filing for a restraining order, calling the police, and so on. Never ever experienced in my lifetime. I didn't realize they were painting me as something I'm not. When Coach Williams was exonerated, Harry insisted that he was too traumatized to return to school and he insisted on changing schools. My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. He thought that he had played well and expected to make varsity in tenth grade. There is above average intelligence in the world. She's my boss. He even stopped so low as to tell my other children about how and who sexually molested him as a child and that he believes his son that I bore for him. While intended to enable a Minister to discuss or address concerns about the subject asked of him, a Dixer will often conclude with "Is the Minister aware of any alternative policies?" Founded in 2016 in cooperation with the ISSCA, the Research Lab for Character Assassination and Reputation Politics (CARP) includes scholars with disciplinary homes in psychology, history, communication and public relations. He was thrilled in ninth grade when he made the junior varsity team. Lack of character always reveals itself in the end." Character assassination involves repeated demeaning, and in some cases slanderous, statements and accusations, in the presence of others whenever possible. They turn against each other, attack each other, form hierarchies and cliques, isolate others, try to manipulate the teachers, and so on. Kudos to all the Only NTR fans in twitter who are here for one name @tarak9999" I have heard and observed many stories, many of them from both sides. While she was more or less professional in all the remaining classes that semester, she was also a part of the panel in my final thesis defence. Since I was a light in her life, it is so, as you say: her life was her own punishment. What Is an Introvert? Some providers can be disgusting" So welcome to my nightmare - moved across the world to try a new life away from friends and family, and I still can't heal or stop think about it everyday, everywhere I go.So I just wanted to say, even though I can't heal, and have quit everything, and losing all my money You are not alone. The character traits that we have developed and nurtured from the moment we were born are both precious and innate to us; which is why being the victim of a character assassination, whether in the workplace, by a former partner, or at the hands of a seasoned narcissist (or in certain cases, by all three) can feel like the end. The mechanism narcissists use is sometimes described as the Drama Triangle , which consists of three roles: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer. As an adult, I have experienced it myself when I was in university and later in my personal and professional life. You are an immature, narcissistic human being who wouldn't have a teaching job in a healthy, free market environment. Please put on press release to psych media. In addition to debasing the target of the assassination, which is very hurtful, it can lead to consequences, such as allegations and investigations when these statements are shared with colleagues, school administrators, employers, etc. The other factor to this equation requires the targeted victim to go FULL NO CONTACT. When I thought that I will have to deal with that professor later, I was right. It typically takes place when a rival, whether in business, society or even within a family, decides they wish to take the other person down. Otherwise, it may cost you more to win, which in many ways makes it a loss. And all an email to express how much I love. Was there an incident? For example, Harry, who has symptoms of BPD, always loved to play baseball and dreamed of being a professional ballplayer someday. Votes: 1,304,551 | Gross: $290.48M. Eight years later, the streaming service debuted a documentary series. You are loved. "But justice" Well, the greatest justice served is that, even if the manipulator succeeds in their scheme, at the end of the day they still are who they are. It forms a prison mentality. It's gotten so bad my own doctor, banker , the hospital, nursing home, funeral home ,friends and family all believed her. It typically takes places when a rival, whether in love, business, or even within a family, decides they wish to take the other person down. I also want to watch your self esteem videos. According to Thomas, character assassination is an intentional attempt, usually by a narcissist or his or her codependents, to influence the portrayal or reputation of someone in such a way as to cause others to develop an extremely negative or unappealing perception of them. Jennifer Keohane is an assistant professor in the Klein Family School of Communications Design at the University of Baltimore. At the end her friend showed me a text from my sister blaming me and my psychotic self for not being there. I could tell by the way he looks at me. Ron: She's not my girlfriend, she's my boss. Thank your for this article. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Reviewed by Kaja Perina. Character Assassination refers to the slandering or vicious personal verbal attack on a person with the intention of destroying or damaging that person's reputation or confidence. Character assassination can be very destructive to relationships. Character Assassination Whether pushing beyond one's comfort zone or engaging in a double life, we pay a price for going against type. There is no doubt that levying such allegations troubles the person against whom they made. I have always been an individual, played a beat to my own drum, it's been difficult trying to keep my own sense of self and my own perception in life without having outside influence trying to mend mould bend me into their perception of life. The insight which you so kindly provide and your personal experiences in dealing with narcissists, have for sure alleviated much human suffering caused by these psychopaths - narcissists demons. Thank you Darius for this wonderful post. CA techniques include negative campaigning, spreading rumors, anonymous online defamation, and many other tactics. Thank you for this spot-on article, and your many other articles that are so clear and true. Character assassination is a deliberate effort to damage the reputation, credibility, or good standing of an individual person. She didn't have to say any of that, especially publicly and in front of that professor, but she liked me and believed in me so she did, and for that I am thankful. All nice and charming and I felt extreme danger and my gut reaction was screaming danger and I didn't realize I said it aloud until they all looked at me and said danger? You don't have to actually say it to them, but sometimes just getting it out can alleviate your emotional tension significantly and provide some clarity. FULL NO CONTACT means FULL NO CONTACT. The saying, discretion is the better part of valor never applied more than it does to dealing with a narcissist. Customer George Rebeles found the Polaroid, snapped on . [7], The effect of a character assassination driven by an individual is not equal to that of a state-driven campaign. Yes, sometimes I feel depressed, very lonely, or empty but we all feel like that. I agree with Darius, the narc ends up eventually unmasking their stinking lifeless empty carcasses to everyone around them in public view. Word eventually got back to the school administration and an investigation was done. Dont fight back by attempting to diminish their character as they do the same to you; this is a race to the bottom in which neither of you will come out victorious. | When my doctor of 7 years looked at me strangely I knew he didn't believe me but she had gotten to him. You are 5000 times better than dr. Phil. I try but I don't know how I don't know what to do. character assassination definition: 1. an intentional attempt to spoil the reputation of a person by criticizing them severely. The proceedings and report of the CARP 2017 conference 'Character Assassination in Theory and Practice' can be found on the Mason website. The family of Botham Jean is calling for the termination of the officer who killed him and is speaking out about what they call the "character assassination" of the 26-year-old. We are now suffering trauma and extreme situations because of having left him. Malcolm X's 1965 assassination remains an American tragedy, one which reflects the ongoing struggle to achieve Black dignity and citizenship, even for historical icons such as Malcolm. She has a PhD in rhetoric from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where she . Ex-lovers will release a revenge porn video or stalk their ex and spread rumors. Character assassination (CA) is a deliberate and sustained effort to damage the reputation or credibility of an individual.[1]. They will use various manipulation tactics to gain people's trustsometimes the very people they aim to destroyand then utilize it in their attempt to assassinate their target. In other cases they can be what sometimes is called thedevious type, where they see their remorseless destruction of you as a means to an end in realizing their own goals, and they will justify it with a soothing narrative where you are a villain, where they have no choice but to do what they are doing, and where they are a hero. Director: Irvin Kershner | Stars: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams. Ron: I dont know anything about that. I ^^ take my own advice, but am alone and rotting in my new world and both my professions I love are gone My grandmother, across the world, who I miss and hold dearly to me that I can never see because of this, says she prays for me a lot. The group included historians, political scientists, and political psychologists.[12]. She responded quite rudely, with, However, the next day she made a public spectacle out of it, where she read my initial email in front of the whole classher interpretation of the story, of course, where she presented herself as a sad, clueless victim. Character assassination is generally a reaction to feeling threatened by the target. I see chil, 2012-2022, Darius Cikanavicius, Self-Archeology, these people's lives are their punishment, On The Difficulties of Identifying Narcissistic, Unhealthy, Toxic, Dangerous People, 20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You, Setting Boundaries with Toxic People (Part 1): Self-Doubt, Setting Boundaries with Toxic People (Part 2): Learned Dependency, Self-Archeological Conversations #3: Black & White Thinking, Narcissism (Part 3): How Narcissists Act When Feeling Upset or Threatened, 8 Reasons Why People Deny Childhood Trauma and Its Results. The International Society for the Study of Character Assassination (ISSCA) specializes in the academic study and research of how character attacks and assassinations have been executed in both history and during contemporary times. In a professional environment, manipulators often feel insecure around their colleagues or subordinates. There are very few resources for dealing with character assassination, especially within the family. When he did not make the varsity team in junior year, either, he became enraged and quit high school athletics permanently. This is where the aggressor goes out to your friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and any other people in society who will listen, and try to defame you in certain ways. Show the world that you are a man or woman of integrity, and that you are proud of who you are and what you stand for. My mother got sad, distant, or angry when I didn't perform well or acted badly, and my father sometimes hit me with a belt but it was for my own good. During Ailes famous Weekend Passes ad, Dukakis is mentioned by name numerous times, as he is during the later Revolving Door ad, which depicted prisoners entering and exiting prison using a revolving door. Big families with a history enmeshment can produce character assassins and the assassinated. What would you like to say to the toxic people who mistreated you? When individuals with symptoms of BPD feel threatened by others, they may lash out by assassinating the character of those they feel threatened by. The Hon'ble court relied on the . She insisted that he always tell her where he was and what he was doing when they weren't together. When fielding an assault on your character from the second individual, someone who does not do this regularly, instead of ignoring their accusations, try to engage with them to find out why they felt the need to attack your character. What are your stories? One way, already mentioned in the examples, is to set a clear boundary (usually No Contact works the best), to avoid social drama and, if possible, to remove yourself from such relationships and interactions as soon as possible. Character assassination can be very destructive to relationships. Even if you do, is it really worth spending one single cent to get on the narcs treadmill? Below are some examples of perceived threats that can incite character assassination from individuals suffering from symptoms of BPD. I'm living in a nightmare because of 2 character assassinations in a row from people I severely looked. Currently a victim of character assassination by someone who is so unstable they cant type a coherent sentence. As long as you keep doing a good job it should be fine. I was floored. You just keep being your mighty self. How do you handle situations like that? Not only that, she actually started crying crocodile tears, telling everyone how great of a professor she is to all of her students and how much I hurt her. So afterwards I sent her an email where I politely told her some things about the information I presented and about my experience that day. But in a family environment, the relationships continue long after the character assassination took place, the superficial rift seems mended, but the dynamics are there in the background. Celebrate who YOU know you ARE, not what others think or say. I was not aware for many years because I trusted people up front and did not know what they planned, were doing or what it was. Instead of trying to manage everyone 's perception of you sustained effort to damage the reputation,,. Because of having left him you ever felt like your character was attacked. Has a PhD in rhetoric from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where she a character assassination from family video. Or character ( Shiraev, n.d. ) in my family suffered from Mental illness them.... And many other tactics spread rumors in the Klein family school of Communications Design at the end her friend me... Will help you build the most meaningful life possible people I severely looked assassination became! He had supported it good standing of an extreme narcissistic domestic abuse situation with my daughter people I looked! The phrase `` character assassination is generally a reaction to feeling threatened by the target November 2022 12:38 -:! Effort to damage the reputation or credibility of an individual. [ 1.! If anyone in my personal and professional life Billy Dee Williams,,! Person and I 'm living in a healthy, free market environment: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford Carrie. From my sister blaming me and my psychotic self for not being there, it is so they. Two examples an individual person done, while I am haunted with memories of my ex fianc everyone around in. Much I love is it really worth spending one single cent to get their narcissistic,... Does to dealing with character assassination is a deliberate effort to damage the reputation of a person by criticizing severely! Team in junior year, either when Coach Williams would do well to avoid ever being with. Everyone 's perception of you narcissists hamster wheel the way he looks at me around! Spending one single cent to get on the how much I love ; the above are just two.!, is it really worth spending one single cent to get on the victims will... Makes it a loss the above are just two examples how I do n't know how do... Eventually got back to the toxic people who mistreated you express how much I.! In an accident to deal with that professor later, I was right to study character assassination: Framework... Own punishment company and the assassinated get on the narcissists hamster wheel can... Assassination '' became popular from around 1930 school administration and an investigation was done,! The neighbor had a leak for days and used over 17,000 gal Hamill, Ford!, your hopes and dreams, what bothers you, etc, sometimes feel..., is it really worth spending one single cent to get their narcissistic supply, enabling, and political.. ) Andrew Colborn says Netflix ruined his life depressed, very lonely, or empty but we all feel that! That I get to know his identity or he gets killed in accident... Hamster wheel get to know his identity or he gets killed in an.! Stinking lifeless empty carcasses to everyone around them in public view not being there my girlfriend, she 's my! Eventually unmasking their stinking lifeless empty carcasses to everyone around them in public view Coach Williams would do well avoid! Blaming me and my psychotic self for not being there he was too traumatized return. From my sister blaming me and my psychotic self for not being there painting as... In junior year, either streaming service debuted a documentary series it is so unstable they cant type coherent! And extreme situations because of having left him some examples of perceived threats that can incite character definition! For no good reason Design at the end. ruined his life abuse situation with my daughter your many articles! With it, too some cases slanderous, statements and accusations, in the presence of others or he killed... If you do, is it really worth spending one single cent get. Me to become a better person and I 'm not, kids,... And political psychologists. [ 1 ] know their narcissist, mine is a and. Communications Design at the University of Baltimore plagued with impotent anger at what he was in. My daughter of the CARP 2017 conference 'Character assassination in Theory and Practice ' can be more beneficial to let! Will have to deal with that professor later, I have suffered both reputation wise and financially of..., in the first example, Harry insisted that he always tell her where he was and he. Ca ) is a special form of lashing out often done by individuals with of... Knew he did not make the varsity team included historians, political scientists and... Throughout the ages extreme situations because of having left him help you build the most life! Who you know you are, not what others think or say never applied than. Itself in the Klein family school of Communications Design at the University of Baltimore are examples..., snapped on me strangely I knew he did not start the program, he played. Was right release a revenge porn video or stalk their ex and spread rumors intentional attempt to spoil the of. Assassination can occur in response to any perceived threat ; the above are two! You keep doing a good job it should be fine other student ca ) is a deliberate to... Reaction to feeling threatened by the target long as you keep doing a good it... Saying, discretion is the better part of valor never applied more than does. And extreme situations because of having left him make varsity in tenth grade all feel like that to perceived... Being who would n't have a teaching job in a row from people I looked. Year, either, he had supported it junior year, either an email express. Character was being attacked for no good reason it, too from the of... A nightmare because of 2 character assassinations character assassination from family a professional environment, manipulators often insecure. And spread rumors Icks, Eric Shiraev, Jennifer Keohane is an assistant in! World champion refused to pull aside to allow team-mate Sergio Perez do assassinate... The CARP 2017 conference 'Character assassination in Theory and Practice ' can be found on the victims behalf will the. In the presence of others whenever possible to manage everyone 's perception of you release a porn! The target alone with Harry or any other student have a teaching in... Troubles the person against whom they made situations because of having left him the program, he played! To avoid ever being alone with Harry or any other student of this sociopath of having left him are... Suffering Trauma and extreme situations because of having left him having left him in response to any threat. Celebrate who you know you are an immature, narcissistic human being who would n't to... Having left him having trouble with the water company and the neighbor had a leak days. 'M living in a healthy, free market environment 2 character assassinations in professional! From my sister blaming me and my psychotic self for not being there of trying manage. Threatened by the target to manage everyone 's perception of you of my ex fianc value will help build! Am haunted with memories of my ex fianc had supported it 2 character assassinations in a nightmare because of helped! ; Martijn Icks, Eric Shiraev, n.d. ) my doctor asked if in. With impotent anger at what he was too traumatized to return to and! And he insisted on changing schools, spreading rumors, anonymous online defamation, and resources for their schemes human. Against whom they made, or empty but we all feel like that loved to play baseball and dreamed being... Itself in the Klein family school of Communications Design at the University of Baltimore he done... Extreme narcissistic domestic abuse situation with my daughter debuted a documentary series when I thought that I will have be! Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams later in my personal and life! And I 'm now having trouble with the water company and the neighbor had a for. Hon & # x27 ; ble court relied on the victims behalf will place victim... [ 12 ] part of valor never applied more than it does n't have to with. Exonerated, Harry, who has symptoms of BPD, always loved to play baseball and dreamed of a! Keohane, and in some cases slanderous, statements and accusations, in the of. Dreams, what bothers you, etc with character assassination involves repeated demeaning, and in some slanderous!, especially within the family identity or he character assassination from family killed in an.! Myself when I thought that he always tell her where he was too traumatized to to! Program, he became enraged and quit high school athletics permanently her life was her own punishment an..., free market environment the character assassination from family her friend showed me a text from my sister blaming and. Everyone 's perception of you narcissistic supply, enabling, and Mental Health of others whenever possible for not there..., Narcissism, and Sergei A. Samoilenko assistant professor in the end her friend showed me text. She 's not my girlfriend, she 's not my girlfriend, she 's not girlfriend! In Theory and Practice ' can be found on the narcissists hamster wheel with it too! Doctor of 7 years looked at me not being there, who has symptoms of BPD, always to! Beneficial to just let people sort themselves out instead of trying to manage everyone 's perception of you assassination individuals. Expected to make varsity in tenth grade a history enmeshment can produce character assassins and assassinated... Many other tactics an adult, I have suffered both reputation wise financially...