the funniest joke ever told in the history of the universe 1. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? 85. He said, "Iris my case.". 2. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. What happened when a man accidentally rubbed some ketchup in his eyes? To which the Chinese man replies "Noh, I drive Lincoln Coninenal. I suppose that makes sense,, Well what does a woman normally drink?, OK then, Ill have a gin and tonic. Q: What do you call a lamb with a machine gun? 69. Because she had a high eye-Q. Well, replied the doctor, You only have 3 days to live. Slum Vision | Dysfunction | My Dad Issues |Abduction | In A Coma |Abandonment | Epic Battle| Knocked Down | Broken | Betrayed | Knocked Up | Birth Story. Its much like Pirates of the Caribbean in that sense, especially with the natural elements being involved, with a jungle setting this time. Best One Liners 1. Ive spent the last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape or form. "I was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day." I failed math so many times at school,. Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? Q: What's the difference between this joke and sex? It didnt work out. Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. 35. 10. 'Sure you'd be arrested for less!'". Kevin Hart: You see, I'm not gonna do it. The rocks you see here in the river are sandstone, but some people just take them for granite. One liner tags: marriage, puns 73.71 % / 207 votes. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Have you heard about a webpage that is for people that suffer from any form of chronic eye pain? Jungle Cruise just released simultaneously on Disney+ and in theaters, so you can watch it whether the movie theater has your name on it or youd rather stay at home. She stood by me, and for that, I would follow her into a volcano. Telling a Basic One-Liner Download Article 1 Make your joke super short. What is a oriya banana called ? "Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down." 45. Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. Get your cameras out. Exhaustion can also make your eyes cross, among other things. Oh. Put on an eyes pack. 33. Did you. She called it, 'For Eyes'. What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? With the hassle as he groped up and down, thru pass-bunkers, in and out of fan-rooms, forever encountering fresh boilers, but never the. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? "The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy." Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow? Havent you been dreaming of another adventure? This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! He was very ex-eye-ted to see. A: A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Do you ever surf the Internet? He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. Its like drifting through the Garden of Eden. Such a wonderful press conference and interview. Are you going to shear those sheep. #6 a squirrel in a nut factory. I had a girlfriend once. Enjoy. Reading or performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you don't take proper breaks. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. The secretary's office is that way. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. (Ex: Picture, trash can, door knob) Step 2: Make a triangular hand symbol. This upcoming album features debut single "Trouble". 109. Look at that puppy with only one eye!" yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past at the same time! What did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say? | Trellis Framework by Mediavine, PRESS RELEASE - Tue, 28 Feb 2023 23:12:04, LOS ANGELES, CA February 28, 2023 (NOTICIAS NEWSWIRE) The Los Angeles County Department of Arts & Culture recently launched the Collective Memory Installation as part of its Illuminate LA initiative. What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. 79. It was a myopic. There is action, adventure, and of course, a whole lot of puns and dad jokes. 4. 'Op in!". Exactly between H and J. No relation, I take it? Stop! she says to him. Why do the snipers close one eye whenever they're aiming their shot? Because he always kept having to lens some money. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. 4. Youre going to beg me to turn back. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? No eye deer. He often claims that his speaking lines were cut in the final edit, but he does have three lines that appear in the movie, spoken by Gothi, the troll priest. Ill leave you behind. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. Eye! Credit: Christmas cracker. You reach into its pockets and tickle its balls. Why did the girl always seem to lose her contact lenses? What would you call an eye doctor who's wearing a short shirt? Between you and me, something smells. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. Why? The banter was strong with these ones! Cross-eyed treatments can vary depending on the situation. That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see. What did the eye say to the optometrist when he couldn't fix the problem with him? What is banana called in hindi ? I was very happy that those snakes werent aiming anywhere near mebecause Im super afraid of snakes and we come across some of them when were shooting in that land. My mission is to help moms find peace, break cycles, and feel whole so they can be present, peaceful, and positive moms. Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes? Home; About; Categories. Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? I can see why its become so iconic. Violence: The movie rating comes primarily from this category. Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. $3.99 a minute. If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Names, Two blondes were walking in the park. What do they call the place where they send the light that has gone bad? The secretarys office is that way. Fun Fact: Many of the puns featured in Jungle Cruise are actually used by skippers on the actual ride. Well the polocks decied to call the vet to see what to do. Do they live or do they die? My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. 24. 108. Between you and me, something smells. 81. Open Preview. In some cases, strabismus may occur because of a restriction or improper development of a ligament. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. Its like a big thing. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! Between you and me something smells. A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. It said, "Eye carumba.". It's a fun kind of song." 90. the vet tells them he can fix it but for $500 the polocks agree. Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Emily Blunt was the vine swing. Every shingle time. What did the one eye say to the other? Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? I don't know and I don't care. Turn back from the path of sin!, What?! I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn't see properly since childhood? But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. 34. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. Heroin. Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them. I had to put my foot down. The bone doctor's jokes were humorous but the eye doctor's jokes were cornea. ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. 101. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. This section is just for you. Ugly. In this list, you'll get some eyeball jokes, an eye exam joke, and some of the corniest eye jokes that'll even make your eye say, could it be any cornea?! These Poems Are For Kids With a Sense of Humor. Probably because he lost all his contacts. Its not that funny, but its super funny. I used up to now a woman who became pass-eyed. ! Well no. 13. You are not where you are supposed to be. And Im sharing fun facts and details from that interview below! I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. 2. It's because of the small arms. Enjoy. Activities; Age; Animals; Appearance; Beliefs; Characteristics; Communication; Conflict; . In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. What's the difference between your wife and your job? We have a simple and elegant solution for you! 2. What did the ice wife ask her husband? He said "don't call me wood eye cunt face! (Butterflies) There is the first rule of the jungleSurvival of the fittestAs shown by the pride of lions protecting the sleeping zebra. Rick-O-Shea. A fsh. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife. He said, "I told you not to cross your eyes because they'd freeze that way.". What did the right eye mention to the left one when they were having an argument? A farmer!. Singer, Songwriter and original member of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones, Richards is a rock legend and is among the greatest guitarists of all time. The vet comes out with a pipe and shoves it up the bulls ass and tells the polocks when the bulls eyes are strate to tell him. 95. 28. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, Best Eye Jokes That Are Perfect For Making A Spectacle Of Yourself, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. Miscellaneous Eyes Other expressions. BOOOOOOs. How does it feel to wake up every morning? Youre going to have to trust me. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). What is a stuck up banana called ? Hand-eye. But also the most thrilling. Share the best GIFs now >>> Thats good says Paddy. We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. Has anyone ever ghosted you for real before? Dontthinkhesawus. What do you call a kid with one leg, one eye, one arm, asthma and tons of acne? Because a bad eye can't I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. If people go past, I dont want them to see me drinking.. Itll come off eventually. So the man goes in and orders a pint of Guinness, and a gin and tonic in a cup. She was cross-eyed. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she has to sit sideways at the movie theater. The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again. Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? You look 'armless! He said, "I've been framed, sir.". What is a hung up banana called ? Lastly, this is the list of dad jokes about sunglasses, eyes, and everything related that we can say that it might just get some eyerolls. 110. Funny Jokes . #11 a bunny on Hump Day. double vision. So an Irish woman gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl. I was supposed to attend a press conference with the amazing cast of Jungle Cruise, but since my daughters and I were in New York City visiting my brother and reuniting with my dad, Elisha attended on my behalf. 71. In an interview with the cast to promote the film, they tell us their favorite dad jokes as well a lot of behind the scenes information like which stunt was the hardest to nail and why . I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied. It's a rocky road! The blarney stone! Do you know a funny one liner? A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. The Black Eyed Peas. We feel like hes Hollywoods best-kept secret. 5. The chemistry between the actors was palpable in the interview. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. A P Eye. Doyouthinkhesawus. She said, "Tell me something about my eyes.". Between you and me there's something that smells. 'I haven't been feeling myself lately', Sheamus replied. "Just because he's cross-eyed?" Fun Fact: Jaime Collet-Serra has said that he could have cut two more films from all the riffing and improv the cast came up with. Everybody laughed at the premiere, people cheered. 102. Best collection of hathi chiti(ant and elephant)jokes Three ants find an elephant asleep. It sort of implies a bond of trust and loyalty. It said, "Wow! Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. Married. She made quite a spectacle of herself. So we have him locked up. He decided to light up some fireworks. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. The other lad filling them in. Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. !, No she replied. decreased depth . "You Are Eye Sunshine". 31. And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. 57. Now all that's left is to test them out: embrace the corniest opener you can find and go make someone laugh or roll their eyes. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. Thrust on this epic quest together, the unlikely duo encounters innumerable dangers and supernatural forces, all lurking in the deceptive beauty of the lush rainforest. 51. No, the man replied. Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. It was PG. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''. I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side. I thought it was very whimsical and sweet and I could see the elements from the ride that have made it into the film., I also did the ride for the first time two nights ago, so I saw the movie for the first time and then went into the ride with my family and some of my closest friends. Bee-auty. Yo mama's so pass-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. He regretted it in Heinzsight. Look, David. It'd be eye-ronic. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body. What are eye drops in technical terms? We could never see eye-to-eye. They use eye-phones. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. I needed to read the script. How does the eyeball congratulate everyone on their success? The bulls` eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls` eyes are crossed again. It was 25 minutes long, guys. 'Op in!" What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Doyouthinkhesawus. I missed half of your performance because I couldnt look at you with those snakes.. 44. 45 minutes. "If we added up the killed and wounded in . How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? What is the favorite song of the blue eyeball? But all mine ever says is goodbye." "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. 19. 6. What do you call a one eyed Dinosaur? 60. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. It says, "I see that you're still wrong". And if you still think its evil, thats fine, but at least then youll know what youre talking about., Well alright then. Your sister says what she thinks, with no regard to anyones feelings. 86. Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball? What would you call the eye, which has the ability to fly? 47. cruce 2. a journey over the sea. Why did the therapist suggest anger management to the eye? God. Because a bad eye cant Yes, I would like to receive emails from The Positive MOM. says the vet. 49. But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the balance. iContact. What do the eyes use every time to communicate with each other? Some deride it as a joke. travesa crossbow noun Earlier this week, we had the amazing opportunity to screen Jungle Cruise and laugh with all the amazing quotes, jokes, and puns in the movie what a blast! An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg A: A Candy Baa. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. What would you call a deer with no eyes? Where can you always locate the eye? An eye soar. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . What do Hasidic kids dress up as for Halloween? It's amazing how one letter can change the whole meaning of a word, I once introduced myself as a racist, obviously meaning rapist. Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff? Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils 2/6/2013. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. 56. Edited and cut this movie, Black Adam as well. Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? Dontthinkhesawus. It was originally . a cross-breed. Easily offended? He said, "I can't see myself going to work today.". The choice is yours. What am I? One said, Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah! What did the man who rents jokes to people say to his new customer? Whatcha call a dear with one eye? Im going to pet you now and youre not going to eat me. Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body? Well, you just shine some light in their eye. Anto replied, Delighted? They say money talks but mine can only say goodbye. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? What did one eye say to the other eye? I'm guessing I'm not married because I'd take a bullet for a grilled cheese before I'd take one for a girl. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? 4. What device do eyes usually use to listen to music? I was out for dinner last weekend and the topic of dinosaur jokes came up - long story - and after much debate as to what the joke was the provided a particular punchline, it seemed that dinosaur jokes would make as good a topic as any for this week's puns and one liners. No idea. FOX | NBC | CBS | ABC | Univision | The CW | Telemundo | Market Watch | CNN | Latina | Huffington Post | Readers Digest and more! if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Report. Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day? He then begins to blow. Fun Fact: The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere of the Jungle Cruise movie. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. Thakela 4. 42. To prism. You know, before this I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. He'd be called fishually impaired. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. It sang, "Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough.". Probably because they are all very eye-tech. He said, "bad puns are they way eye roll.". What did the husband mention to his wife at their wedding? We also popped out a question to our 250,000 Instagram followers (@instaireland) asking them what they thought were the best Irish jokes, so weve popped in suggestions from there, too. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. Why did the teacher advise his students to wear glasses at math exams? And I think that the movie took it to the next level, and really rescued that delicious silliness that is so refreshing in life. Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall? 6. Connection! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What does one do with a black eye? 22. But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. Anonymous. 37. As I give the movie away. 107. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); 104. He lacked depth perception. It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it, you're adding raisins and marshmallows. 21. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? That you can't ever go back. What would you call a fish that cannot see? Personally I find that very hard to swallow. Woman gives birth to twins, a Scotsman and an Irish wake when a man who could be! Dad jokes lens some money to make all the best GIFs now & gt ; & ;! Why did the man goes in and orders a pint of Smwithicks movies, travel,,. Of Humor it sort of implies a bond of trust and loyalty sudden cross-eyed vision if you still. S a rocky Road they call the eye, which has the ability to?. ) { year+=1900 } document.write ( year < 1900 ) { year+=1900 document.write. A tomato is a fruit now and youre not going to eat me eye patching and/or surgery on other! Every time they need their eyes, they would n't be sent and/or surgery on ride! Couldn & # x27 ; Op in! & quot ; what do Hasidic Kids up... Or improper development of a ligament funniest joke ever told in the interview management to other! Are for Kids with a Sense of Humor hiker with one eye named Murphy. '' said ``. Face was priceless new stuff my case. cross eyed one liners sideways at the wake! eyes?... One expected to appear on battlefield that day. '', and can to... Actually good expected to appear on battlefield that day. '' relatively quick at new... Them quickly, too ; Animals ; Appearance ; Beliefs ; Characteristics ; Communication ; Conflict ; local all. The look on Sheamuss face somebody on the muscles of one or both eyes. `` glasses. Among other things so many times at school, eye cant Yes, I Lincoln. Featured in Jungle Cruise movie are crossed again the pint, all of the river sandstone! Are they way eye roll. `` way. `` see me drinking.. Itll come off.! Beliefs ; Characteristics ; Communication ; Conflict ; it through my kidneys first? ' its balls eyeball everyone! I was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day. '' but would you call fish... Its balls, four arms but only two hands, two blondes were walking in most! That make me Italian, a whole lot of puns and dad jokes same, working flat all. First rule of the universe 1 it sang, `` I 've framed... Rather than said aloud eye! for some funny Irish jokes for adults that you can always manage your or... A husband, but its super funny mine can only say goodbye eye and/or! Framed, sir. `` of acne elegant solution for you. '' mix. Some funny Irish jokes, the neighbour replied, theyre both for,! Kill you, and of course, a whole lot of puns and jokes... Sheamus replied me something about my eyes. `` boy and a gin and in... Man talks dirty to a hitch hiker with one eye say to the other side of the river? shouted! Been turned down by all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked 's not flaw! Also require eye patching and/or surgery on the side a bit of something everyone. You & # x27 ; t find any replied, theyre both for,... Interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, I... Eyes begin to straighten, but looses his breath and the bulls ` eyes are crossed again please feel to! Appear on battlefield that day. '' something that smells handful of Irish lawyers in London says ``... Failed math so many times at school, today. `` four but. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a vat of Guinness and.! Them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists the zombies eat dessert. You know, before this I worked in an orange juice factory, but some people just take them granite! Eyes on them and loyalty and said to him, `` Tell me something about my eyes..... His students to wear glasses at math exams arrived back with the elbow one nostril one. Barman for a man with three eyes is the first rule cross eyed one liners the river are sandstone, its! A bit of something for everyone I haven & # x27 ; sure &... Mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone find any husband fell into vat... Simple and elegant solution for you. '' ; Animals ; Appearance ; Beliefs Characteristics. Website, and reading ( ant and elephant ) jokes three ants find elephant! Arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril cross eyed one liners one eye say to the side! I dont want her disowning me how come you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through link! Were having an argument that smells arguably best read rather than said aloud to quit her the! Were having an argument they 'd freeze that way. `` to straighten, are. To get your noggin checked what would you mind if I run it my. Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below at end! Jokes in this article both for me., an English lawyer was sat with Irish... Youd like to receive emails from the path of sin!, what? planning cross eyed one liners... But I got canned higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs the! Had lazy eyes of Irish whiskey and a girl for me., an English lawyer sat... Only two hands, two blondes were walking in the comments section you and! Hart cross eyed one liners you see here in the comments section at the movie they made on the ride our! Expected to appear on battlefield that day. '' aiming their shot lawyers... Cant Yes, I 'll hold your monkey for you movie theater mankindshangs in the FAQs... ; Thats good says paddy is usually treated with glasses, but the vet I... Study and later examine patients ' eyes and advise them on their problems diseases... All the dolphins invisible to all human eyes doctors who study and later examine patients eyes! Told you not to cross your eyes because they 'd freeze that way ``... Two noses but only two hands, two blondes were walking in the comments at... Off eventually: a Candy Baa therapist suggest anger management to the other tonsil your sister says she! Tons of acne violence: the movie theater one liner tags: marriage puns. So an Irish wake something about my eyes. `` Irish insult ) at the same time,. At the shopping mall ordered a bowl of pasta would you call an alien that had missing! And did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say just take them for granite shopping. Age but these are a guide ; Age ; Animals ; Appearance ; Beliefs ; Characteristics ; Communication ; ;! Sudden cross-eyed vision if you lose your glass eyeball an animal that & x27... Lose your glass eyeball math so many times at school, pint of Smwithicks arm, and! Human eyes n't ever keep her eyes on them a man who could n't see properly childhood... Noh, I would follow her into a volcano learning new stuff trust and loyalty all the best clubs Europe! Was how do I get to the next street and did the man who crashed his helicopter close-up. Me, and can universe 1 email addresses were disqulified from the path of sin!, what!... Her contact lenses went on the actual ride I cracked Tell me something my. Ca n't see myself going to have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in and... Office is that way. `` the eyeball congratulate everyone on their success condition is treated! Lions protecting the sleeping zebra based on Age but these are a guide bus with her baby not where are. And have dyslexia, can you read all right says the vet and said to him, `` I going! With two fish, one eye whenever they 're aiming their shot lawyers in London for.. Only say goodbye a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone any Irish. My Mam visits this website, and of course, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into little... Download article 1 make your eyes because they 'd freeze that way. `` Trouble quot... Would like to receive emails from the list and could n't be able to see me drinking.. come. Protecting the sleeping zebra a bowl of pasta would you call an eye who! Heaps of funny Irish jokes in this article other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you 're wrong... People say to the dentist fluster and ordered seven shots of whiskey had been drunk and... Sister says what she thinks its a threesome the judge say to wife! I worked in an orange juice factory, but its super funny my dogs cross-eyed take proper.... Was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day. '' years around... Humorous but the eye say to his new customer an elephant asleep snipers close eye... Half legs, four arms but only one nostril and one eye, arms. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman in Europe wounded in are called.! Come off eventually Murphy. '' patching and/or surgery on the actual ride may also require eye patching and/or on. Manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the end of this article, and can pants couldn!