Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Dirty Jokes #79 - 70. 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read. Your girlfriend makes it hard. Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. #51. Lets play a game known as carpenter! Why do mice have such small balls? #30. A submarine. you knock on the door. Ivana. Because dont mind going up and down with you all day long. 36. What do you call a marine who can't swim? I want you inside me. Click here for full disclosure policy. "She did everything wrong! Would you like to be on the list? A submarine goes by. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Rubbit. Whos there? Why are you shaking? Whats the difference between you and a pair of glasses? Getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Whats long, hard, and full of semen? Emergency management: "Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you'll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.". when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. Q: What so you call a snail on a ship? A friend started a submarine building company. Whats the difference between your wife and your job? 1 Whats still together after all the sh*t theyve been through? The man doesnt last long enough.. Its a sunny day at the pond. 2. The Madam is out of women but, since the guy is Polish she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference. 44. What do you do when a womans choking? The other rider asks if its rainy outside. The best marine If you were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. 35. 90. Because youre hot and I want smore. Because they wont stop to ask for directions. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A man will actually search for a golf ball. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. What comes after 69? 30. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. 55. Depends. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesnt? What did the banana say to the vibrator? What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Want to add more to your collection of crude jokes? 22. Its too long & you dont have all day to admire the joke. 21. 39. After five years, your job will still suck. Why do women have orgasms? An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? I'm teaching these worms how to swim!". Never mind. A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? I havent given a shit in days. 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas), 100 Best Dirty Dad Jokes & Memes for Adults [2023 Update], 101 Best Orphan Jokes & Memes [2023 Update]. If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". 49. Whats the difference between hungry and horny? 33. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Why is masturbation just like procrastination? Ones a Goodyear. Women might be able to fake orgasms. TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. One sperm asked the other, How far till we reach the fallopian tubes? The other replied, Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus. I hope youre on the pill! dirty JOKES (random) AARDVARK : VOTE! Whoops. Why do vegetarians give good head? Marry her. 37. Drumstick. 3. When a pregnant woman takes a bath A rip off. What do boobs and toys have in common? Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. Why did the sperm cross the road? 60. 80. Fire who? However, if you are brave enough to tell them, check out the top 101 dirty jokes below. Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Its OK to feel that way, and its best to just laugh at it.. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: annasinger15, brockstar12, porter.daniel30, innerlight, bydand5678, auapapaumi, CJS0507, jonathanalberto2012, joshdenkins. Why do boys fart louder than girls? He used paper and pencil to budget. Oops, wrong sub. Toothpaste. My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis? Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends. You can negotiate with a terrorist. How many Bitcoin maxis does it take to screw in a lightbulb? First, wellget hammered, then Ill nail you. How is life like a penis? Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? Whats a lesbians love language? 16. Its dark in here! Where you stick the cucumber. In a submarine. Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? 57. 24. A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. Have you heard about the constipated accountant? 1. Myth Vs Fact: Is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth? Navigator we're on a course. A submarine! Do you have a raunchy sense of humor and cant help chuckling when you hear a dirty joke? Is it in? Ill be the nine. If so, consider it done! 47. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use them at your own discretion. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters Whos there? If you were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a really big bang. If a blonde girl says you have a big d___. You pull out. Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? A submarine! Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; Hes cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. 14. What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? They do the same about swedes). What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? When they come theyre wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. 18. See disclosure in the sidebar. A: They both swallow seamen. A Lickalotopus. How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine? Welcome to the Sensual Innuendo Club. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again! In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there. How is sex like a game of bridge? Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. 49. Give it to me!" she yelled. 81. Do you want to hear a joke about a v*gina? They can both smell it but cant eat it. DIRTY JOKES! Its a pretty good -boat. 78. A: Wave to him. The wheelchair. 15. Tickle its balls. #31. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? I farted at work the other day and my boss opened the window. What did the O say to the Q? 22. I blame my mother for my poor life in the bedroom. Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle 89. I never saw anybody drink that fast.". They always come in a little behind. That's just a can of people. However, the seamen from the boat manage to swim away, almost reaching the shore. #1. Two different fish swim into a wall One turns to the other and says, Dam! #54. 65. Violets are fine. They are both meat substitutes. 93. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full. when it saw its first submarine. 12. His hairs a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbors an asshole, his bestfriends a pussy, and his owner beats him. 8. Thunderstorms are a little bit like getting intimate, if you think about it. What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? Or these boat jokes, or even these aeroplane jokes! Because the old one has shaky hands. Knock, knock. #3. Making love is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. Every man has one. Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. An egg gets laid. It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine. Oral sex makes your day. What do you do when youre a man trapped in a womans body? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. #12. Here are some funny dirty jokes for him that will surely get him to crack up and surely bring you closer together. 17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower. Whos there? 40. Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me. Knock Knock. 69. Shes probably just pulling your leg. A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a Ahoy there! Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? He worked it out with a pencil. Fucking hot! How much did you pay for those pants? Whats long and hard and full of semen? Let only latex stand between our love, if you know what I mean! Thanks for coming! Because youll be coming soon. 96. 13. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. Because I want to ride you all night long. "Give it to me! Its all good in the hood! How do you turn a fox into an elephant? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell to Your Kids. No. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". 13. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? "We can't allow animals in the cinema.". Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? "Don't worry, dear. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? Knock, knock. Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Its not what it looks like!Do you like sales? How do you sink a norwegian submarine? This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. Bridal Shower 101 is here to provide the best information to help the bride tribe! Whats the best thing about gardening? #22. Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Well I have. Because Im looking for a deep shag. Im emotionally constipated. #21. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. #27. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Harry. Thats not funny! Bitcoin maxis (Elon Musk). 48. About four inches. Whos there? Why are the saggy boobs angry? Beef strokin off! TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Working on the computer is like driving a submarine. Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? I just found an origami porn channel, but its paper view only. How is s*x like a game of bridge? A toothbrush. Why are women like Popeyes? 21. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? I used to work for a submarine manufacturing company, I'm going to quit my job working on this submarine. 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