Their education is pretty much all they have going for them, so they use it as a weapon whenever they feel threatened. They aren't very empathetic. Most condescending behaviors can be handled with direct professional communication. Calling other men "Chief," "Boss" or "Big Guy" is a weird sort of faux-submission posturing. They might be acting completely calmly and rationally, but are basically being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else. If you pat someone's head they will invariably be forced to look up at you-in confusion or possibly an attempt to displace your hand-and then you'll find yourself in the literal predicament of "looking down on them." Come talk to me after youve earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal footing.. Remarking on Someone's Appearance Calling Out Someone's Natural Expression Implying Someone Didn't Prepare Enough Questioning Someone's Success Publicly Belittling People's Ideas Using a Pet Name in Particular Situations Suggesting Teachers Are Less Capable Condescending and patronizing behavior can come packaged together. % of people told us that this article helped them. Let's examine the behaviors to watch out for and the ways managers can appropriately address every kind of condescending employee to create a more cohesive and productive workplace for all. Enjoy! EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). Just focus on being positive and relaxed. We provide both training and coaching on the subjects of condescending and demeaning behavior. These are high-ranking board members, so we need to spoil them and not offer them whatever cheap crap you feed your kids after school. This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. If your boss says, I just dont understand how you couldnt get this done. Thats the entire intention, really. One major example of the impulsiveness of youth in the play was when Romeo and Juliet got married (856-858) . Maybe we could make it a new policy so everyone is on the same page.. LiquidPiston's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they're taking investors while they do it. This touches upon calling subordinates things like champ or honey, but expands into referring to people by names other than those they use themselves. Most women have had a man tell her to "relax" because he perceives her reaction as inappropriately emotional-when in fact, she doesn't feel she's responding emotionally at all. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. Cracking Jokes At The Wrong Time There is a time and place for humormost times and most places, in fact. This response allows you to take control of the situation, it also allows you to redirect the condescending nature of the employee. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Overall, this campaign resulted in a 25% increase in our target audience over the last four weeks. supervisor evaluation letter . Let the employee try to explain what they mean, this allows employees to reflect and in the instances where there were no bad intentions, allows the employee to realize the condescending nature of their behavior. These Sisters Quit Their Jobs Mid-Pandemic to Risk It All for Their Brand. Overly familiar, one-size-fits-all nicknames-especially from people you interact with in a professional capacity-are generally not a good look. If you dont give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have irritated you, they might simply stop being condescending. True comment, they get what they deserve, Im totally in agreement. Remember that people will treat us how we allow them to treat us. MANAGER: I am trying not to overwhelm you with information. JANE: Well, the downside would be that we wouldn't have had the benefit of the correct information right away. Does patronize mean talk down to? This response is often directed toward women, particularly in work or post-secondary environments. And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. "I actually like that idea" When you say this, it can land like a patronizing backhanded compliment. Explaining Stuff You Already Know This person will explain things like they're offering you valuable knowledge. Many bosses swear by this feedback method, which involves starting out with a compliment, giving a critique, and then ending with another compliment. New Reasons for the Labor Shortage, Do You Know How to Have Conversations That Convert? They might not even be aware they were doing it. By simply interrupting or talking over you, theyre trying to show that theyre more important than you and what they have to say has more value than whatever you were blathering on about. Focus on understanding the point that they are making, and take a few minutes to digest the information. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. Smile and respond with something positive. This one is just as infuriating as the remarks mentioned above, if not more so. That person might speak 10 languages, but if they mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker. Oftentimes, people act condescending because they're secretly insecure. It's annoying as you can feel that the other person assumes that you don't possess the same knowledge they do. Lets have this conversation at another time. Examples of Condescending Remarks You might notice condescending speech and behavior in someone like this. They might happen between family members, colleagues, friends, or complete strangersall depending on circumstance and whats going on around them. While it can happen naturally someone who constantly interrupts whether in a formal or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated. MANAGER: And what would have been the impact of that alternative approach? Dont mistake this for the honest interruption we are all guilty of. Example: That's not such an impressive achievement. Manage your time effectively. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. If you're not certain they're following what you're talking about, you can always ask, "Are you familiar?" This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. 2. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This kind of backhanded compliment can feel worse than getting no praise at all. Others may have heard it from those who have opposing political views or from people who make different personal life choices, such as dietary preferences or breastfeeding. A subtle form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent. No matter who you're speaking to, when you tell someone to "Take it easy," you're suggesting that their excitement, concern or general response to something is either excessive or invalid. Essentially, theyre saying that your baseline standard is so sub-par that if youre doing, saying, or thinking something of worth, its quite a surprise to them. For example, were you to tell someone, "You're always late," or, "You never clean the toilet," they're likely to feel as if you're making a definitive statement about who they are and will almost certainly rack their brains for contradictory evidence. Frank Blaney. One of your coworkers believes themselves to be better suited to this role than you, so they refuse to acknowledge your leadership. Examples of demeaning behavior include criticizing a person in front of others, making jokes at another person's expense, rolling eyes after someone's comments, making sarcastic comments about a person. Nothing you do is acceptable, and you may lose yourself in pleasing them. The thing about condescension is, it can be overcome. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. Whether you're having a casual conversation or trying to offer meaningful feedback, the person you're talking to is way more likely to shut down and react defensively if you claim they "always" or "never" do something. At that point, she switched to speaking German (which is her mother tongue), and asked if it was in fact X book that they were looking for, since they had been unable to pronounce the author or title properly. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Call Him on It. Still, at least now you know what to look out for. And they dont take itRead more . We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. You can set a great example for some of your newer co-workers with your knowledge. About Blog Press Privacy Policy Contact Us, 111 South Jackson Street, Seattle, WA 98104. Managers are tasked not only with identifying these individuals and their behavior but with addressing them as well. And it's true that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Based on my conversation with the customer, our latest launch . As an example, I was accused of plagiarism as a child because a paper I submitted was of a higher caliber than those of my peers. While it may sound obvious, remembering that the condescending behavior is not personal to you as the manager is very important. Behavior #2: Gossip. A condescending person tends to explain things, even simple things that most people already knew. Aggression such as shouting, yelling and belittling comments are all obvious signs of condescension. "Well part of the problem is that you have autism so you sometimes engage in this or that behavior.". This behavior is often referred to as " mansplaining," but the occasional woman is guilty of it too. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own. Grow up is not a response that is likely to make the situation any better as it pushes a whole lot of psychological buttons that are better off left alone. As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Here are some examples of their behavioral patterns. We use cookies to personalise content, provide social media features, and analyse traffic. MANAGER: Could you've helped Jack in another way to give correct information? Anyone with a shred of self-awareness will take that cue to track down the right pronunciation, and if they don't bother, then going forward, it's not worth your time to correct them anyway. Luckily, the alternative to one-size-fits-all nicknames isn't too hard to implement and works every time. The company VP was horrified. Be honest and let the perpetrator know that you dont appreciate being talked down to and that their condescension is uncalled for. Having some perspective can also make it easier for you to control your emotions and avoid getting upset by their words or actions. This is often used by people who are quite wealthy and have had the privilege of attending the best schools, travelling around the world, and so on. Both coworkers prefer the long forms of their names and introduce themselves as such. Take the situation to a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is not acting professionally. This is particularly true for condescending people in positions of authority. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. 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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. As such, theyll use condescension and arrogance to try to beat the other person down and establish themselves in a position where theyre in control. [1] Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"