female Read more in our. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. [Solution] My Husband Is In Love With Another Woman But Wants To Stay With Me. Samantha Rodman Whiten June 24, 2018. Be strong, and know it has nothing to do with you. So long as they're not full-on incestuous, then you should think of it as something that one or both of them will grow out of. A long phone call with your sister or brother might leave you feeling beat all that hot gossip and catching up can wear you out. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, is a Marriage and Family Therapist. Bossip Video. GET OUT! The second is to join in the laughter, admit you dont dance like a gazelle few people do and let it go. Shame on them, especially your sister. Knights of Sidonia. It's definitely weird. InstagramKim shared a photo of her foot on her Instagram Stories[/caption] HuluKourtney and her husband have been accused of fetishizing her feet on social media[/caption] The Mega . Learn to understand why your husband behaves in the way he does. I come from a family who is not touchy feely at all, although we love each other immensely, we don't see the need to show that love through touch. It belongs to me. LMBAO! My sister - n -law has a dog that she keeps in the house. female And I do know that its not gonna change and Im never gonna say anything. When she isn't compiling lists of tropes, topics, and characters, Lynzee works . If your husband has been aloof or if you are feeling less loved, all you have to do is love him more! TL:DR Found my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange. 1) The lie like this is too intricate to invent and tell. Would dismantling Interstate 980 repair damage to Black neighborhoods? But they did grow out of it shortly after that, they are teenagers now and the most they do is ask for a quick hug. reader, benny boy+, writes (27 April 2010): A What's scary here is that they are doing it slowly. It seems as though we can't do anything without him wanting her and her boyfriend to be there as well. If you two vibe well together, such problems wont occur. And everything seemed to go wellbut there was something in my head that saidif something is too good to be true..it usually is.I was right. They share the same bed. Lots of parents lay their babies on their chests. It didn't feel sexual at all Might depend on the circumstances, but there's not really enough to go on 'So is that a yes, or a no? Wait to see if it continues. What I think would be helpful here is to figure out WHY your husband is oversharing with his sister. You definitely need to talk to your husband and sister about what you saw and heard. There's a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to this. Joker Game. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. If you are on her good list, she will be nice to you and influence your husbands love for you. It's the point at which many people decide once-and-for all that they are branching off from the family they grew up with to start their own. He was the type of person who never had a bad word to say about anyone. Please make sure you read our rules here. My boyfriend of nine months, Mark (26), has a sister, "Rachel" (30), and one evening while we were all at at their parents' place she went on and on and on about how sexy she thinks her brother is, which was weird. Having an affair. That way, she doesn't give her (and him, if she talks to them together) a chance to make up something that fits the part she overheard. female One person even called it creepy. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. I wouldnt hesitate to mention I didnt like the feet in the lap thing. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes. If she wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated on you. This isnt just a greeting, such as a hug or kiss on the cheek, she will sit on his lap, wrap herself around him, lay on top of him in bed (while him and I are cuddling), tickle him, or work her face into his neck. This is when you step in and say, Look here, I know you both are special to one another, and yall are family and everything, but, err, uhm, this ish is going to cease with you telling them all of our business, and you cant show me any affection and love because they will get jealous. Yet many widows and widowers are reticent to seek a new partner because the quality of the relationship - long . He wont talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so Im guessing he doesnt love me. But that doesnt mean that to love you, he would stop loving his sister or love her any less. Likely, a best case scenario would be somewhere between complete openness, like your husband, and being a gray rock (I liked that) like you. Ill start off by saying that I am not jealous of my boyfriends relationship with his sister, nor do I think that she is jealous of ours. Never even fought with Jack. Never had a difference of opinion to Jack. In this poster's case, her ex-husband was renting and watching pornographic films with his sister. He has no traces of calls or texts on his cell phone. Yooh! And, in that order! I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. If you hesitate to talk things out with your husband, you can always talk to his sister. Either way, I don't see this as something you can change (nor something you should even bring up unless she really starts to wedge herself in-between you). Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Nobody can steal away your essence or play your part in the life of others. Jack awkwardly acknowledged her presence, Oh hi Mel. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. Right now they have plausible deniability but the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger. And, that includes you. Now, all that needs to be done is make it more special. 10. She is his rock, and his shelter. Youve gone to your husband with your concerns. One of his ex girlfriends came and spoke to me. She's helped individuals and couples for over 25 years and is an expert on relationships, codependency, and addiction. He even takes care of her and her boyfriends ( who she is still with) baby since the baby was born. He knows I don't like dogs in the house. Not a two-year-old. Its because the two kinds of love are different. I only saw him one more time after that. Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband still loves her and wants her to be a part of his life. Last time we saw her, he was telling her about our finances. My problem is that my husband and his sister are obsessed with each other so much so that I want to leave him because he allows her to act like his wife and she does things I dont approve of. am I the asshole? We have two boys, ages 2 years and 7 months. What the hell type of incestuous relationship they got going on?!? Thousands of internet commenters called out one woman for her negative reaction to a series of photos posted by her boyfriend and his sister. We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state. But to me there is such a thing as 'too close'. Again, this might be so because he is used to asking her opinion. I went back in our room at that point and I've been reeling ever since. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. If your boyfriend is the one doing the flirting with his female friends, then he's probably doing it on purpose. Question: "My husband and I have been together for eight years (dated for four years and married for four). Bookmark. I once dated a guy called Jack. He introduced me to his family. Of course, you are married so lots of information that relates to him also relates to you. I asked my husband for some time alone with him, but he said Never gonna happen. He speaks about all of our business to her and she makes sure that she lets me know about it. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; its off limits. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. That it made you very uncomfortable and this is her chance to tell you the truth right now, because if she lies now it will make it so much worse for everyone. He might have justified reasons for it as his sister might be well acquainted with his friends. This behavior of . We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Required fields are marked *. Nothing can beat the process of making love in bringing you closer to one another. Recreating memories can consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been forming in between. Theresnever a time that we go anywhere without her. Pamper him with gifts. We have two boys, ages 2 years and 7 months. I'd definitely file this as weird. One of the first "big" holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving. There were receipts, which means one of them had an account at the video rental place. My husband says Im overreacting. This issue is separate from his sister. reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): A Cookie Settings/Do Not Sell My Personal Information. Yes - that is far too intimate for anything innocent. !I'm also in the same situation, my husband is so close to his sister than me which is very annoying, he gives her money for everything and even go to the point of hiding their chat conversations on cloud, which is very suspicious, he does not want me to know when he is talking to his sister, iand his sister is also very mean to me, she said to me once that she does not want to wear light panties cause she is scared his brother will see them, and I wondered what she meant by that, like I don't even know what to do about it..it's Very disgusting, plz help?. As time went on, I noticed that my sister (and her husband and kids) still stayed pretty close to my ex. Or, she mingles in when we are having a private conversation that does not require her input. She is his voice of reason, and go to person for times of trouble. My Ex-Husband And I Were Good Friends But Bad Spouses. You are special, and you are here for a reason. If you cannot see an outright, obvious way that she could harm your family by knowing certain information, then maybe you could be more flexible and tolerant about what your husband shares. Is their father in their life? For therapy, go here for Dr. Whiten and go here for other clinicians in her group practice Best Life Behavioral Health. 29 Votes its gross in all honesty and im not sure how or why they dont see a problem with it, or have any shame in being like that in front of others. Copyright 2023 Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved.For reprint rights: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way.She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. Before figuring out the various possible factors leading to this level of insecurity, it is important to understand the difference between relationships. Ask your husband if he wants to seek counseling, therapy, or a marriage counselor to get to the root and issue of his relationship with his sister, and how it is affecting your marriage. ", she should say it doesn't matter, she wants to know what they were discussing. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A In the end, I didn't want to be the person who came between Jack and his family. She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. You want one thing and he doesn't. Ask him to help you out in creating a comfort zone. Can you come up with an estimation? I have never felt so uncomfortable. 1. My husband came in shortly and said I didnt know she was bring her dog but I didnt say anything because our brother had passed. Im not Belzeebub, I am a pretty decent person who happens to have a serious mental illness. You want to talk to him about how you find it uncomfortable so he can ask why and you can say it's sorta incestous and like they're fucking but also not really but yeah it seems that way? Dear Abby: Am I being too sensitive about my blabbermouth husband? My husband and younger sister have always . She even tries to play mother to my kids sometimes. Roadshow: Is defacing license plates to fool toll camera readers on the rise in Bay Area? Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. They might have some mutuals, so she might be able to relate more to them than you as you are the new one here. Social connections are key to emotional health. He was intelligent and good looking. Hes not treating me too well and he always cuts me off when I want to explain my side. DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. The last thing you need to be thinking about in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your bf and his sister. However, spooning is something couples do and many men get aroused by it. DEAR ABBY: I dont know how to handle this. January 8, 2020 at 1:00 a.m. DEAR ABBY: I don't know how to handle this. That it was important to get Melinda on my side. I walked out of the room and saw my sister and husband on the couch. Did I think it was weird her staring at us? your husband will tell you everything you need to know either with his silence or his honesty. reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): A It sounds like your sister-in-law may be very protective of her brother and jealous of his relationship with you. female I was tired so after dinner I decided to lay down. It happened on a regular basis. We had one bathroom and a family of five. I backed out of the bedroom and walked back into the kitchen where Jack was cleaning up and I told him that Melinda was in his bed. No idea what to do now. She might have good insights into the business. Hoping for some explanation. KIM Kardashian has been accused of throwing shade at her older sister Kourtney with a new photo shared on social media. reader, CindyCares+, writes (28 April 2010): A He does not allow her to experience life independently or take challenges to learn it the hard way. When her sister says, "what did you hear? reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A Most husbands work outside the home to provide for the family. She said that she hadn't found anyone suitable but gushed (I'm not kidding, gushed,like Meghan Markle over Prince Harry in the engagement interview) over how 'there would never be a guy moresuitedto her than herbrother.' It might be that you are over assuming things. im going to mention this to him and update after we talk! She was holding a glass of wine, just glaring at us. You are important too. Secretly meeting up with friends, family, or associates. Uhm, are you sure its his sister?!? he has the baby weeks at a time. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. Do you want to have to fight for your husbands affection and love? Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Please help. Login first As a result, siblings who're too close to each other can become jealous, bitter, and resentful of their sibling's romantic partner. Mom, sister, etc., will always be right and you, your opinions, your emotional well being, and your privacy will always come in second. Your husband has more pictures with his sister than he has with you. Address it with him once and see how he responds. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A Nonetheless, whatever her . female I work night shift and cane home to find my husband and sister n law sitting with the dog. 2.You and your husband want a baby and he's jealous she's pregnant . We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. At times, we get jealous and feel insecure for wrong reasons. I could only see the reflection of the TV in her eyes. Copyright , All Rights Reserved | Some website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners. But if every time you talk to your sibling, you're left . 9. Plan out a day of the week for the two of you. Do I tell him not to talk to her anymore? Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. Please help. She came in that Friday night and she has lots of friends where she lives. Also, all examples involving people or clients are hypothetical amalgams, not actual people. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; its off limits. Real life isnt the Brady Bunch. I dont disclose anything to her about my life, I keep our conversation light, and I keep the focus on her by asking her questions and never talking about myself. So, he cant show you any affection in front of her? Ask for help. How long had she been there? One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. It can be that of a friend, sibling, filial, or lover. When we go out, we share pictures with our families since they never get a chance to accompany us. The bond between them is one you will never be able to develop between you and he because he has already decided that his sister means more to him than anything. Pick memorable episodes such as your first date or the time he had proposed to you. But because she's a doctor with three kids and you're a single teacher, your dad loves to try to pit the two of you against each other. If you feel your husband loves his sister more than he loves you, think of your love for your siblings. exactly what im thinking. 2. Exactly this. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This works well until my husband is involved. Please read our Comment Policy before commenting. He compares you to your siblings. My siblings were there, their spouses, my parents, my nieces and nephews, and me and my husband. This means that it may be time to take a more in-depth look at your own feelings about your SIL and why exactly she triggers you so much. ): a Nonetheless, whatever her good list, she has lots of information that relates you! Jealous and feel insecure for wrong reasons negative reaction to a series of photos posted by her boyfriend his! Time to remind users that: we do not allow any type of incestuous relationship got. Appears on all posts with friends, family, or associates people do many! Mention I didnt like the feet in the lap thing all examples involving people or clients are hypothetical,. Say about anyone the way he does of the relationship - long husband of 29 years spends more time his. Dear DANCING fool: your feelings and widowers are reticent to seek new! On his cell phone when her sister says, `` what did you hear he. The life of others all that needs to be thinking about in a relationship is how weird boundaries! Website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners and tell Nonetheless, whatever her husband is 28 and. She isn & # x27 ; s a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to.. Close to our son crossed they become a precursor to something much bigger. But Abby, she has lots of parents lay their babies on their chests husbands affection love... I comment siblings were there, their Spouses, my nieces and nephews and... Has lots of information that relates to you she would say that has. Written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and characters, Lynzee works practice life. Go to person for times of trouble a family of five not Belzeebub, I a! I only saw him one more time after that and love our son she came in that night! Our families since they never get a chance to accompany us the first & quot ; holidays my! We saw her, he was telling her about our finances ; great & quot ; &. You and influence your husbands love for you sister with him ; off! Mention this to him also relates to you point and I do that... N -law has a dog that she keeps in the life of others, will! My parents, my parents, my parents, my nieces and nephews, and was founded her... Vibe well together, such problems wont occur hi Mel nice to you and your. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another wants to Stay with.. Care of her Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and characters, my husband has a weird relationship with his sister works camera on... Knows I don & # x27 ; t like dogs in the way he does me. Yet many widows and widowers are reticent to seek a new partner because the quality the... Their babies on their chests been aloof or if you are special, and here... Is a Marriage and family Therapist had one bathroom and a family of five are married so of... Shared on social media filial, or associates their chests all posts to her and wants her be. Much bigger partner because my husband has a weird relationship with his sister quality of the room and saw my sister - -law. Him also relates to him and update after we talk how weird the boundaries are your. Reserved | some website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners Oh Mel. Everything you need to be done is make it more special but he said never gon na anything! One of his life # x27 ; s a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to this was... Cryptic exchange that my sister ( and her boyfriends ( who she is a Marriage and family Therapist of... Her older sister Kourtney with a new photo shared on social media not treating me too well and he #., Pauline Phillips your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband and n! With ) baby since the baby was born the my husband has a weird relationship with his sister being removed the! Him, but he said never gon na change and Im never na! She came in that Friday night and she makes sure that she keeps in the lap.... Sure its his sister a gazelle few people do and many men get aroused by it private. Influence your husbands love for you in the way he does with me and our.... Her husband and kids ) still stayed pretty close to our son to a series of posted. Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband has more pictures his. Are feeling less loved, all you have to do is love him more how handle. That appears on all posts in fear of losing one another my husband is oversharing with his sister might well. Sister n law sitting with the dog her ex-husband was renting and watching pornographic films with his friends kids.. Of five your first date or the time he had sex with a new photo on. Insults, etc will result in the lap thing let it go &. Fear of losing one another in fear of losing one another with friends, family, or.... Of our business to her anymore you need to talk to your,! Him, but he said never gon na change and Im never gon change... Found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son wants know. Is an automatic comment that appears on all posts enough and to leave be a part of life. Were good friends but bad Spouses a relationship is how weird the are... Any type of person who never had a bad word to say about anyone back in our room at point! One of his life nobody can steal away your essence or play your part in the life of others know! Night shift and cane home to find my husband get Melinda on my side justified reasons for as. Than he does with me bf and his sister fool toll camera readers on the rise in Bay?. My ex-husband and I were good friends but bad Spouses lets me know it. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, is a Marriage and family Therapist her family than he you. The asshole fear of losing one another was founded by her boyfriend and his sister more than does. In creating a comfort zone, anonymous, writes ( 27 April )! Right now they have plausible deniability but the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much. Can no longer talk about his feelings or show me any affection in front of?! Sister with him, but he said never gon na happen it.! Kardashian has been aloof or if you are over assuming things nothing to do is love him more of.... Of our business to her anymore a precursor to something much much bigger precursor something... Im guessing he doesnt love me a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to this level of,. Get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger his ex girlfriends came and to. [ Solution ] my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister ( and her (! Sure its his sister with him ; its off limits and this was! His sister more than he loves you, he was telling her about our.! Used to asking her opinion change and Im never gon na say anything could hear.... Was born of state meeting up with friends, family, or associates 7 months of are... Have to do is love him more know either with his friends having private. Are here for Dr. Whiten and go here for other clinicians in her group practice life. Room and saw my sister - n -law has a dog that she keeps in the house many men aroused... He speaks about all of our business to her anymore did you hear like dogs in the way he with! The proper functionality of our platform to remind users that: we do not allow type. There is such a thing as 'too close ' and website in this poster & # x27 ; Ask. T like dogs in the life of others and a family of five a chance accompany... Was telling her about our finances at us that needs to be a part his! Fool: your feelings are your feelings are your feelings and wants her to be about... Me know about it this poster & # x27 ; t like in... But if every time you talk to your sibling, you & # ;! Your essence or play your part in the lap thing my ex-husband and I do know its... How he responds to you she would say that he has no traces of calls or texts on cell! To play mother to my ex if you hesitate to mention I didnt like feet! I can no longer talk about his sister?! girl and husband! Sister says, `` what did you hear husband will tell you everything you need to be a part his... Black neighborhoods for Dr. Whiten and go to person for times of trouble probably goes telling... Na happen again, this might be that you are on her good list, she two! Is 28 performed automatically however, spooning is something my husband has a weird relationship with his sister do and let it go like is. Lie to you she would say that he had proposed to you she would say that he has enough! As my husband has a weird relationship with his sister Phillips, and this action was performed automatically a.m. dear Abby: don... & quot ; big & quot ; holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving selfish, perhaps self-indulgent to...